{"id":7086,"date":"2015-06-17T16:44:25","date_gmt":"2015-06-17T21:44:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rocksdigital.com\/?p=7086"},"modified":"2024-03-13T11:33:19","modified_gmt":"2024-03-13T16:33:19","slug":"donald-trump-announcement-president","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rocksdigital.com\/donald-trump-announcement-president\/","title":{"rendered":"Donald Trump Announcement: I Will Be President. His First Presidential Executive Order if Elected: ISIS, you\u2019re fired."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Donald
Image Credit \u2013 Paul Hakimata Photography\/Shutterstock.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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**Editor\u2019s Note: This story was written in good fun. There was no actual interview that took place with\u00a0Donald Trump. Just as stories on the Onion and other sites\u00a0publish, this was just for laughs. The goal of the writer was educate business owners about bad data and the impact it has on a local business\u2019s future success in an engaging way.**<\/em><\/p>\n

Yesterday Donald Trump announced, if elected, he would find ISIS and fire them. When asked about this tactic, he stated, \u201cI don\u2019t know why Obama hasn\u2019t thought of this yet. All you need is good data. Just call Google and verify the address.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald Trump Presidential Announcement<\/h2>\n

He has already appointed former Celebrity Apprentice reality TV star, Omarosa<\/a> as his Chief Data Officer for his campaign. He has vowed to create this prestigious cabinet position when he is elected as President of the best, most luxurious country in the world.<\/p>\n

Trump modestly declared at his recent press conference:<\/p>\n

\u201cGood data is the most important thing you can do. It\u2019s good business to have people find you. People can find me because I am everywhere, I own everything and I am rich.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

His foreign policy has left some government analysts amiss. He has vowed as president to supply the troops with the top of the line cellphones with GPS and local search apps such as \u201cFoursquare\u201d and \u201cYelp\u201d to aid in finding terrorists, Trump hotels, and popular restaurants. His military tactic is to find local terrorist hotspots and mark them as public. Then using the best, top-of-the-line drones, he will employ military forces to target their specific hideouts. The former terrorist hideouts will then be turned into Trump towers that will stimulate the local economy. \u201cIt just makes sense. It is a win-win for everyone. Especially me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Another controversial economic policy Trump has proposed centered around job creation. He has recently pressured Uber to employ all current and former Miss USA contestants as premium drivers. Former beauty pageant contestants have some of the highest rates of unemployment in the country. \u201cThey are a suffering minority. I want to get them working again.\u201d<\/em> Trump declared in a recent blog post. Within weeks of the program\u2019s inception, it was abruptly cancelled due to complaints of drivers getting lost. When a former employee was asked about the recent program shut down, she replied, \u201cI can\u2019t even.\u201d<\/em> The failed program had incurred $10,000 of damages due to torn upholstery caused by stiletto heels and tiaras.<\/p>\n

His campaign has already been fraught with issues, as his new intern, Russian model Milla Vanakovakakov, was hired and fired within 20 minutes. Vanakovakakov mistakenly picked up Caitlyn Jenner\u2019s wig at IBeWeave wig shop on Jefferson Avenue instead of Donald Trump\u2019s signature hairpiece located at a different franchise location. While she blamed the mix up on an incorrect business listing on Google, Trump had little patience for misinformation. They are now engaged and will be married within the next fiscal year.<\/p>\n

Trump was alarmingly absent from a few of his first press conferences following his announcement yesterday. TMZ host Harvey Levin<\/a> reports sightings of Trump in Biloxi, MS at The White House Hotel. When asked for a comment, Trump\u2019s Chief Data Officer curtly states:<\/p>\n

\u201cFuture President Trump searched \u2018White House\u2019 on his mobile device and couldn\u2019t verify the business location before directing his assistants to escort him to the location.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s reported that after 10 hours in the SUV, Trump suspected something might be wrong. He couldn\u2019t remember the driver\u2019s name so he sat quietly, feeling assured that Chief Data Officer Omarosa hadn\u2019t pointed him in the wrong direction.<\/p>\n

It will be interesting to see how the Trump campaign pans out for the billionaire. All we know is that it will be the best, most prestigious, most luxurious campaign in the history of the United States.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
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#DonaldTrump “I Will Be President.” Get the story on #RocksDigital #MoData<\/a><\/div>\n

Click To Tweet<\/a><\/p>\n

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#DonaldTrump declares his first presidential executive order if elected. #RocksDigital #MoData<\/a><\/div>\n

Click To Tweet<\/a><\/p>\n

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\n
Exclusive Interview of #DonaldTrump on #RocksDigital! Really? Click to see. #MoData<\/a><\/div>\n

Click To Tweet<\/a><\/p>\n

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#DonaldTrump and @Omarosa together again? Find out on #RocksDigital<\/a><\/div>\n

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Join us in having some #DonaldTrump fun! Click your favorite “Click to Tweet” and share online!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  **Editor\u2019s Note: This story was written in good fun. There was no actual interview that took place with\u00a0Donald Trump. Just as stories on the Onion and other sites\u00a0publish, this was just for laughs. The goal of the writer was educate business owners about bad data and the impact it has on a local business\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":42642,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[322],"tags":[429,430],"class_list":["post-7086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local-buzz","tag-donald-trump","tag-donald-trump-for-president"],"yoast_head":"\nDonald Trump Presidential Announcement: If Elected: ISIS, you\u2019re fired.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Yesterday Donald Trump in his presidential announcement said "If elected I would find ISIS and fire them. 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